With everything in the world, how has it made you feel?? Have you been struggling?? Are you struggling to keep your head above water?? Or, are you just skating by for the time being??
I can tell you all, it has been rough and not a cakewalk for me. I am trying every day to stay positive for myself but also for everyone else as well around me. It’s not fun.
I feel lost and drained. There have been days, I can’t pick up a hook, to have my fingers running through the fiber. It just hardens my heart and makes me cry because that’s what makes me feel happy.
It’s my sense where I belong and feel whole, without it I feel like I am nothing. I can’t even look at myself, as I just feel disgusted. Lately, that is what I have been feeling.
But lately, I can’t even smile amongst not crocheting like I used to. Now, I have a bigger dinner plate to worry and I don’t know what I am going to do about it. I don’t even want to look at it.
Something in 32 years of my life I never imagined. My brain is still dismantled and trying to regroup, putting those pieces back into place. Trying to understand it all, but how can I.
Trust me this isn’t an easy process. Will it ever get easy?? That I can’t answer, because my life has never been a walk in the park. Every time I think it has gotten to that point, I have been slammed dunked back in the face again.
Picking up the pieces yet again and trying again to make sense of them, trust me it isn’t an easy process. But you know I do it and will keep doing it. Because that is what we have to do.
It is what has kept me strong and will keep making me stronger in the years to come. Life will come back to me, where a smile will be a smile. Where I no longer have to fake it to make it.
We just have to go these lengths to get where we need to be in this life. Trust me, after these hurdles life, will be better then I know it and you know it.
So, put your smile on with me and help me get through these rough patches that we call…life.