I am sorry that I have been silent for a few months here. Trying my hardest to figure where I have been wanting to go. Like honestly, wondering if I want to continue to crochet or just let it go.
When I first started, I feel deeply in love, like head over heels. Constantly teaching myself, new stitches, even going into the advanced stitches. I even taught myself how to read patterns, even the things to look for and how to write patterns. That is literally, why it has been extremely hard, to want to give it all up together.
I am telling y’all, that is literally not the case. After, putting myself out there and working with so many different yarn companies, I can’t just walk away. With that, I have so many designs to write and bring out of time out to complete.
In July, I registered to retake my CNA course again and so that I can reinstate. I am literally excited for this next step in my journey and taking care of patients again. I am one step closer to accomplishing this dream and achieve this goal. I have submitted everything need to the board, now I just play the waiting game. I can remember ever since I was a kid, that I wanted to do was to take care of others. Its a sense of pride and joy, that make me happy. That is why I decided to bring myself into the crochet community. To create art in a whole new form, by helping others bring out their creative side and to show the world what you create on a whole different canvas, with just a piece of fiber and a hook.
So, with that being said, I am here to stay and keep doing what I love the most …. Crocheting with my whole heart and not stopping. It also helps me stay focused, motivated, relaxed, calm and reduces my ADHD in the full aspect of my being.
In other news, why I have been wanting to step away, is literally in my own mind, because I have told myself in my own mind, that what I am doing isn’t good enough or even worthy enough to be good. But I and I mean I, is 100% good enough. Just need these horrible thoughts to quit torching my mind with horrible parasites. Now, going to be bringing in all good everything vibes into my mind and keep doing what I love the most and sharing my creativity with others, that find it special.
Also, I have considered stop letting people test my designs, because others have ruined that for me. But, like why you may ask? Because, I have been ghosted numerous times, to where I haven’t and still haven’t heard anything. All they wanted was my design.
THAT STOPS NOW AND GOING TO STOP. I am over it. My husband doesn’t quite understand the whole part about the testing process. Even, when I literally try to explain it to him. Still is like, huh or is like ‘Whatever I am getting cheese fries.’
Explaining the testing process to my husband:
“It’s where they get a chance to create my idea, but while giving me feedback and finding errors within the pattern. Even looking for things that don’t make sense or need to be rewritten. Also looking for grammatical errors and mathematical errors. Making sure my final measurements and yardage are about the same. FINISHING THE TEST IN THE GIVEN AMOUNT OF TIME, IF NOT THAN COMMUNICATING TO ME FOR EXTENSION. Also, when they have completed the pattern providing me with good quality photos and their notes, so the pattern is ready for others to enjoy. At the end of the test they will receive the final copy of the pattern, from their hard work, to make this pattern great.”
My husband tells me, “it sounds they are getting a free pattern to me.”
Me, “yes they will receive that if they finish.”
My husband, “if they don’t what happens?”
Me, “than I will be sending them an invoice and will have to purchase the pattern.”
My Husband, “oh ok, but that is confusing and I am going to get something to eat.”
With that here is my boundaries with testing. Also, be linking this post in my Pattern Testing Page, so everyone understands where I am coming from now and moving forward.
I take pride while I am designing and making from the depths of heart. I want to bring pieces from my memories and to share a part of me with the world. So, this why I have been wanting to close my crocheting door and seal it shut. So many people and including my husband, don’t do it as you will be letting them control you and walk all over you. You are amazing and create beautiful pieces, so keep doing what you love and set boundaries.
Below you will find these boundaries and I stand by them.
My Testing Boundaries
1. Make sure you have the given time to complete in the given time frame, before wanting to commit.
2. Make sure you have or can get the materials to complete the task in given time frame, before wanting to commit to the task. If you are still waiting for the materials make sure you COMMUNICATE with me what is going on, just don’t LEAVE ME IN LIMBO and wondering. I know we can’t control the shipping and what will happen, just COMMUNICATE with me is all that I ask. Respect me and I will do the same.
3. Make sure you are able to give thoughtful feedback and advice, while looking for errors throughout rough draft of the pattern. Before wanting to commit to the task.
4. I know that life happens and things come that are unexpected through what we can’t control, but please let me know so we can work together.
5. If you are almost finished with the task at hand, but you don’t think you are going to finish within the time, than communicate that with me, so we can work together. Just give me the courteous and don’t just ghost me or go rogue on me.
6. When you have accepted the given task, but you feel like it ain’t just going to work out, let me know so I can make the adjustments.
These have all happened to me and I have set these boundaries for now on. I love what i do and where I want to go from here forward. This is my journey and my joy. That is the big reason why I got into designing, to share my passion with others.
Please respect me and I will do the same to you as well. Let’s continue to work with one another.
Also, I am excited to become a CNA again and follow my biggest dream to become a Nurse.
Thank you for being here and supporting me on my journey’s.